I am also loyal to Jesuits who gave me a very generous, solid, and exceptional training that opened up excellent opportunities in life to serve humanity and God. But my own growing awareness of who I am as a child of God did not allow me to succumb to the disappointments of any one in my family or among Jesuits who had difficulty with my choices. For in my mid-adult life (40’s) I came to a deep realization that I have to make choices in consonance with myself in due discernment of God’s will, and live that life in the best way possible while serving others. My awareness also told me that I am a child of this universe, that God has a plan for me, and that I am not in this world to live others’ expectations.
I am aware that Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein, one a philosopher and the other a great scientist of all times, were either atheists or agnostics. They chose to be so for their own reasons. I choose to be so for my own reason or the lack thereof. I have been programmed early on into my choice by significant humans in my life. The faith I have been brought up in brings meaning and coherence into my life. It expanded over the years to include all right thinking religions that do not harm or exploit any human or nature. Christ revealed God as love, compassion, forgiveness, providence, and, above all, as our father and mother who wants unity and harmony among humans. He had a special preference for the poor and the down-trodden. He held up truth as the virtue that alone sets us free. He called all humans, neighbors and friends. Buddha personified compassion and mithabhavana (an attitude of friendship) for all. Gandhi’s life was one continuous experiment with truth that he endeavored to live in his life. He believed in God. He examined all his actions for tolerance and purity of intention while living a very simple life committed to everyone’s welfare (sarvodaya).
It is not important that we prove God for anyone. God is improvable. God has to be experienced in some way. Interestingly faith does not afford the luxury of certainty. Every human is a gift of creation pointing to God, and should be nurtured in love with care. Sages give a message of compassion. Compassionate relating can be our attitude in daily life. For someone who had a near death experience recently, all I care for is to live fully, that is, to love all to the best of my ability.
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